White Shoe Therapy

white shoes

When my son passed away a few years ago I held up well until right after his memorial service.  I was there with him in the hospital during those final days … and even at his bedside when he went.  I spoke at his memorial service … and maintained my composure.  BUT, the day after his memorial, it all sank in as to what had just happened.  A dark cloud settled over me that day that I just couldn’t to get rid of.

I knew from my own experience in counseling that I cannot isolate myself but needed to maintain a routine in life and try to get back to some normality.  I got busy immediately with my counseling seeing clients daily, but with everything I did I just couldn’t seem to get out from under that cloud.  Though no one could tell … I felt like I was smothering and the sadness was overwhelming.  I even asked some counselor friends of mine if I should see a psychiatrist for some depression medication but they encouraged me to give it a couple more weeks as I was just going through some serious grief with the loss I was experiencing in my life.

It was now three weeks after my son’s service and, though I was functioning “outwardly” alright, inwardly I was overwhelmed by this deep sadness that I had never experienced before in my entire life.  I knew I had to do something.

I remember that Saturday morning while I was out shopping I saw these white shoes that I really liked.  I have never owned a pair of white shoes.  When I was 9 years old Pat Boone made “white bucks” a popular fashion and I remember my brother having a pair … but when I became a teenager they were out of style.  Ever since that day, whenever I suggested buying a pair of white shoes, someone would remind me of how stupid or ugly they were and I would always take their advice to refrain.  BUT … on this beautiful sunny Saturday morning I purchased my first pair of white shoes.  Later that afternoon I said to myself, “I want to go dancing tonight and I want to wear my white shoes” … so I went dancing.

Something happened that Saturday because the next day that suffocating black cloud lifted and I felt like I could breathe again.  Oh the sadness of losing my son continued and I still had to work through the grieving process, but I seemed to find a renewed hope and purpose which gave me the ability to move forward.  I’m not sure exactly what happened that night … but that experience helped be break free.  I call it my “White Shoe Therapy”.

I think we all have had those “Dark night of the soul” experiences sometime in our life.  Even the writer of the Psalms talked about a time when all of his friends had left him and in his despair he proclaimed: “Darkness is my closest friend” (Psalm 88:18).  These are those moments when it feels like we’re  just not going to make it through … BUT … There is ALWAYS hope and something or someone there to pull us through … even if it is just a pair of “White Shoes” or a good friend who supports and encourages you to “go ahead … just do it!”.  If you are experiencing a “dark moment” in your life I encourage you to pursue a “White Shoe” experience … whatever that may be for you!

*CHECK OUT our Website for additional articles and helps: http://www.theonesimusconnection.com/articles/

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About OnesimusConnection - "A Journey in Self Discovery"

Bill Nichols, is a Board Certified Christian Counselor, a Certified Professional Life Coach, a Certified Behavioral Counselor, a Certified Anger Management Professional and a member of NAMA – The National Anger Management Association. He has Certificates in “Sexual Addictions Counseling”, “Addictions and Recovery” and “Treating Compulsive Sexual Behavior”. He holds a Master of Religious Arts in Christian Counseling Degree, a Bachelor of Biblical Studies Degree and is a member of the AACC – American Association of Christian Counselors Bill has over twenty-five years’ experience in pastoral and professional Life Coaching & Counseling. He has organized and facilitated Anger Management Classes and directed Addictions Programs at various counseling centers in the Jacksonville area including The Salvation Army Adult Rehabilitation Center and The City Rescue Mission. Mr. Nichols has attended five different colleges and is a graduate of Nazarene Bible College in Colorado Springs, CO, International College of Bible Theology in Sikeston, MO and Logos Graduate School in Jacksonville, FL.
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